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Ich hätte dich niemals so nah an mich ranlassen dürfen.

(via egal-schillerwardichter)

me: whats your opinion on tampons
little brother: they're little fuzzy sticks on strings
me: then you are ultimately more mature than most boys
little brother: why
me: for some reason tampons are gross and taboo just cuz they go in a vagina
little brother: well so does a penis and boys never stop talking about those
me:
little brother:
me: that is a fantastic point

almost-tumbir-famous:

fifty-shadesofgay:

pleatedjeans:

buttersafe

OH THANK GOD

i was scared for a second

(via lalunesong)

princeowl:

ok but before u unfollow me we gotta do a duet of ‘gotta go my own way’ sorry i dont make the rules 

(via pizza)

benedictcumberbatch:

221bec:

professionalmisandrist:

What if condoms had temporary tattoos on the inside like you rolled off the condom and there was a picture of a dinosaur on your dick

image

(via dorysconscience)

silversora:


"Dave.."
"Fuck off Shaun I am taking a picture."
"DAVE."

silversora:

"Dave.."

"Fuck off Shaun I am taking a picture."

"DAVE."

(via pizza)

"1. Kiss that cute boy at the party, but push him away as soon as he puts his hand up your skirt
2. Smoke a cigarette for the first time, and make it your last
3. Don’t straighten your hair for a week, see how many compliments you get
4. Blast your favourite song even when your mum has told you off for playing it too loudly. Enjoy those 3 minutes of pure happiness before she pulls the plug out.
5. Say yes to going out, you’ll have something to tell your grandchildren about
6. Paint a sun on a rainy day, then stick it to the window
7. Eat the cupcake, you have better things to worry about than those 300 calories
8. Do yoga and meditate as often as possible
9. Stand up for yourself. Someone called you a slut? Someone said you are ugly? Someone said your art work was boring and dull? That is your cue to fucking stand up for yourself and make them speechless
10. Don’t respond to a group of males whistling at you. You’re a human being, not a fucking dog
11. Leave your headphones at home, see how much you are missing out on because you’re always lost in your own thoughts
12. Carry hand sanitizer and bandaids in your purse
13. Wear sexy underwear, loads of leather, a fur coat, heels and purple lipstick. Do it for yourself, not for the hot guy next door.
14. If you’re having a bad day, cry, scream, punch a pillow, throw stuff around. Then you pick up the mess, including yourself and get back up.
15. Smile, be polite and get on peoples good sides for starters
16. Stop waiting for your crush, stop dressing up for the bar man that serves you a free drink or staying extra hours at work for your boss. Stop impressing these dickheads and start impressing yourself.
17. Laugh until you cry, and when the girl sitting next to you in class tells you to shut up, laugh even louder.
18. Do whatever feels right in the moment, laugh, cringe and regret it later. Repeat."

- insical (via insical)

(via lalunesong)

ineedmorenutella:

.kat. on We Heart It.
pain-from-the-inside:

yeah true..

"…and you drink a little too much and try a little too hard. And you go home to a cold bed and think, ‘That was fine’. And your life is a long line of fine."

- Gillian Flynn (über poutyspice )

(via moshshit)